Improvements :)

I have made a few resolutions for next year, and I have decided to start them in December, because I just can't wait any longer.

My resolutions are:

1. Get FIT! I'm going to keep losing weight, and I am going to get where I have always wanted to be! I have already found so many different people that have done exactly what I am doing. It is so inspiring and it keeps the little voice in my head telling me, I can do it too!! I've finally figured out how to go about this in the right ways, and I have finally found my determination to keep on keeping on!! My mom has always told me that as I worry about what I need to worry about, things will fall into place. I firmly believe this, and so I am doing what I need to do!!

2. Write daily in my journal. Whether it's big or small, do it! My daddy said something to me at the beginning of this semester that has really stuck with me. I was telling him about going dancing with a friend, and how I was so nervous because I had never been "dancing" with a guy before! He laughed and then said, "You should write that in your journal so you can always remember it, it'll be fun." It really hit me. I don't write in a journal. I mean, I have a spiritual journal because I figured I should only keep track of the "important" things in life. But really, there are things I want to remember, things I want to look back at and laugh, and all this "growing up" stuff has really made me stop thinking of just myself. I realize that one day I am going to have a husband, and then before I know it I'm going to have kids!! I want my kids, especially my little girls, to be able to know what their mom was like when she was their age. I want them to know that Mom went through the same things they are going through. My favorite thing is to hear stories from my mom, my grandmas, my aunts about their childhood and their teenage years. So I know that my kids, if they are anything like me, will enjoy it as well and I just don't want to deny them that. So I am going to be faithful in my journal writing! Who knows, maybe I'll even have written about the moment I fell in love with my special someone, and they will enjoy reading it too. ;)

3. Be grateful. Be grateful for everything. I haven't shown my Heavenly Father enough how grateful I am for the copious amount of blessings that surround me each day!  I need to take time to realize the small things and be grateful for them. I mean, when I stop and take a look at the things surrounding me I am just so blown away at all the beauty I have been missing. I don't want to miss anymore! My plan is to find at least one thing everyday to be grateful for! Hopefully this will help me grow in many different ways. Because truly, I am so unspeakably grateful for all that I have and even all that I don't have, and I need to do a better job of showing this gratitude to Heavenly Father!

So here you have it my lovelies, these are the improvements I am making in my life and I really hope that you too are making the decision to make some improvements in your life! Why wait to make an improvement you have been wanting? Start today, and realize that you are worth the change! You deserve all the wonderful things that you have always dreamed of. You are the only thing stopping yourself!! 

Well, til next time my friends!!

Wind, Snow, and More Wind.

Alrighty! I realize I haven't written in quite sometime, so here I am.

Let's see what's going on in the world of Pauline..

I absolutely love it here at BYU-Idaho.

I can't say that I love the cold, but I love the people and the education I am getting.

I have such amazing teachers. I couldn't have asked for anything better.

I COULD do with out all the extreme winds, the coldness is bad enough!

I have lost quite a bit of weight since I left Texas. Thankfully.

I feel so much better now, and I don't feel gross, haha.

I start Winter Guard on Thursday, and I am so ready! 

I have missed it so much, and I can't wait to get to know the team.

I am filling out papers and applications to go to Mexico next fall for an International Language Program, and I am hoping and praying that I make it in!

I think it will be such a wonderful experience.

There are only 30 something days until I get to go home for Christmas. 

I have never been this excited for Christmas and all I am asking for is my family, and some good cooking :)

Being away from your family really shows you how much they mean to you.

I never knew how much I love my family, and how grateful I am for them.

I have never had such strength given to me then that which I get from my Family.

I love getting letters in the mail from my family telling me how much they love me and how proud they are of me. I don't know if they really know how much strength that gives me. It keeps me from breaking down on stressful days. It keeps me from crying when I just want to go home and know I can't.

And for all you other people who think I am going to get married in a heart beat, I hate to tell you differently.

Sure there are lots of cute guys up here, but I just don't feel like dating, or having a relationship right now. I have talked to my mom about it, and asked if I was in the wrong in trying to avoid dates, and she told me that I am okay. So I am going with mommy's words, and listening to my feelings.

Who knows maybe next semester I'll find someone in a class who changes my mind, but as for know, I am just fine being myself, and focusing on school.

Well, I don't know really what else to say...So I'm going to cut things short for tonight, but I will definitely try to write more often.

I hope all is going well with you, whoever you may be, and I hope you take the time to thank the Lord for all the great blessings you have in your life.

<3 Pauline.

c:

Favorite 

<3

That boy.

So that one boy that has kinda been a huge part of my life, especially for the last year, yeah, Tristan...

Well today is day one of something that he has been longing to do his whole life!

 He is going on his MISSION!!!!

I am so so so excited for him! I am so glad that he made the decision long ago to forget about himself and do the Lord's work for our brothers and sisters.

I find it pretty awesome that he got called to serve in California where the weather is amazing, because he hates being hot...and I mean HATES IT. 

So last night I was able to talk to him one last time before he enters the MTC today, and it was great.

We talked about good times, we talked about things he had to do on his mission, and we made sure we knew his favorites so we can send him care packages!

But most importantly, Brittany and I told him that despite how much we are going to miss him, we don't want to see him before the two years are up!

I hope and pray that he will be able to do all things that the Lord has need of.

More than anything however, I hope he opens his mouth and shares all that he knows.

I'm sure that his fear of speaking will be chased away by the spirit.

Two years isn't too long.

Tristan, you're gonna do great!

Nostalgia

I miss colorguard.

I miss winterguard.

I wish so much that I could be in them still.

But I feel like I am in the right place...I really hope I am at least.

Thankfully workouts started today, zumba starts next week, and I am joining a dance class next semester.

Maybe then i will feel better.

After all, it is the dancing I miss the most.

I miss my girls alot, as well as Ms.Robbins, it doesn't get any better than Ms.Robbins that's for sure.

I look forward to seeing their performances, they look intense, and way awesome!

Who knows, maybe I'll see a winter guard performance live ;)

Lou-Gehrig’s is a Funny Thing

Living with a sense of humor helps me make it through life. It also is the only thing that kept my uncle alive. That’s a promise. 

Robert. That’s my uncle’s name. I like to think that Heavenly Father took Robert away from us because Heaven needs a little more sense of humor.  Even though this story is one of much heartache, and many tears, I hope to tell it with a bit of my uncle’s uplifting spirit.

Robert is my mom’s baby brother. He is the golden child; he is the only boy, you see. I think of this awful disease in a strange light. Think of a cow. You know how some farmers raise cows to be as plump as they can be without bursting, and then they send them to the slaughter so they can eventually be eaten? It’s pretty awful isn’t it? But guess what. You know those other cows that DIDN’T get slaughtered; they live long miserable lives of eating grass from familiar fields’ day-after-day. Meanwhile, those other cows lived short lives eating as much as they could and to them that was heaven, I’m sure! Now even though their lives were not of great length, those plump cows lived happy lives, and after they are gone they bring much happiness to testosterone crazed men who love to barbeque their lives away. Anyways, sorry to go off on a tangent about cows, but this all has a point. Robert refused to let a day go by that he wasn’t making someone, somewhere laugh. I don’t just mean laugh casually, I mean hysterically laugh until you find your chest hurting and your eyes watering.  I remember always looking forward to Robert’s visits, but by the time I was a teenager his visits became sparse.

Shortly before his fortieth birthday Robert developed a pain in his arm that he couldn’t seem to ignore. After sometime of being irritated by it, and asking around as to what it could be, he and his family came to conclusion that he had Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. So he scheduled a doctor’s visit. The doctor wasn’t convinced that it was Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, so he ran a few tests. On Robert’s fortieth birthday he received a phone call informing him that what he thought to be a minor problem was in reality the end of his life. He was diagnosed with Lou-Gehrig’s Disease and told all about it and the time frame in which he had left to live. Imagine being told when you are but forty years old that you will only have five years left to live. Now imagine that you have a daughter who has a hole in her heart and has to survive off of a battery powered pump, and a son who is but seven years old and sees you as the center of his whole world. Wouldn’t that hurt you so much inside? Not Robert, not him.

Robert saw this as a challenge. A challenge as to how much happiness he could bring to others in the few years he had left in this world. So as his challenge began, so did ours.

Lou-Gehrig’s Disease, explained in a nice way, slowly shuts down all the muscles in your body, drains your spinal fluid, and leaves you limp and useless until finally your heart shuts down, taking you out of your misery. It was not easy for my family, especially my mom, to comprehend how God could diagnose any of his precious children with this disease. It is not hereditary, contagious, and it is definitely not something you can avoid or cure. It comes to whom it wants, when it wants. Doctors cannot explain why it happens, or really even what it is. They only know what it does to the human body, but they also know they still can’t find the cure.

So as the years went by with us all suffering together, we created stories and adventures that are amongst the best times in my life. Often Robert would make a joke about his arm hanging limp beside his body. We didn’t find his sickness humorous in the least bit, but he made us laugh regardless. When he lost the ability to walk for long periods of time, he would try to race us while he was in his wheelchair pulling himself along with only the strength of his frail feet. Any time I walked into the room he would say with the biggest smile on his face, “you’re purdy!” I loved it when he said that to me. I knew he heard that saying off of Spongebob, the cartoon, so it was even more humorous.

In the few times that Robert would silently sit in his wheelchair and listen to the family’s conversations, he would sometimes go into a daze and stare into space and when he did I would look into his eyes. They were happy eyes, but I could tell they held pain deep within them. I think that’s what hurt me the most. Knowing that this was the happiest man I knew, but he had to hold more pain then I could imagine. I couldn’t imagine the pain he had, because he never showed it to us. He strived his whole life to be a happy man, and he succeeded. I have never met a man happier, in better times, as my dear Uncle Robert. He may be away from us temporarily, but his legacy lives on in our family. His jokes are still shared, his rabbi beard is still spoken of, we still call each other “purdy,” but most importantly his sense of humor still lives in this world through us, his family, and his strength.  So we still live here grazing on grass for the time we remain, while he enjoyed everything he had here on this earth, and became an inspiration for us all.

For him, I believe in finding the humor in this life…life is a funny thing.

Heavenly Father loves you, It's true.

I can't explain the warmth I have here in Rexburg, despite the harsh coldness already coming out way! I love it. I love everything lately. The Lord has blessed me with more than I could ask for right now. It is somewhat hard to take in. I have always thought it was hard to "love everyone" in the way that Christ does, but I think I am beginning to understand it. The spirit here encourages all to be true disciples of Christ. I love this gospel, I love my family, I love my friends, I love you all, but most importantly I love where the Lord has brought me. I plan on making the most out of being here at the Lord's university. At all times, remember these scriptures.

“The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light
and truth.”

“A man cannot be saved in ignorance.”

“Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this
life, it will rise with us in the resurrection.”

Raw Foods, Day 1.

So today was day 1 of my new Raw food diet.

No I am not eating raw meat or something nasty!

It simply means anything that is a "raw" food, I can eat it. 

Ex: fruits, cucumber, tomatoes, avocado, nuts...blah blah blah.

And I can NOT eat anything that is or has to be cooked.

Ex: any and all meat, chips, potatoes...you know. 

But, GET THIS... Dairy is a no no as well! 

See this is what people don't know..

The reason that this raw food diet works when it comes to desperate measures for weight loss (in my case) is because sugars from fruit and other raw vegetables and what not are natural sugars that slowly make their way into your blood stream and they last longer, where as the sugars in nasty foods that are processed and all, go into your blood stream fast and leave fast. Also FAT is in cooked foods, if you are eating raw foods all day there is no fat! 

Some people may think this is crazy, but I am not asking for opinions on what I am doing.

Seriously, there are people who have taken this on as a lifestyle and have lost hundreds of pounds.

I have tried most everything when it comes to losing weight. And nothing has worked, so I'm hoping and praying that this is it! 

I encourage anyone who is looking for a great way to lose weight to look up peoples stories about results from raw food diets, it will convince you to try it.

Any ways, I hope day 2 gets easier. Today wasn't necessarily "hard" but it was difficult to have to turn away what everyone else was eating for lunch and dinner. 

But hey, I am determined and set on achieving my goals!

I can't believe some people.

Mormons are not crazy alien people who practice things that are unrealistic and/or ridiculous.

I guarantee that people would be surprised if they took the time and devotion to know the REAL truth about Latter-day Saints.

 People always get angry and accuse Latter-day saints of having "secrets" in our religion or in our Temples...

but if those people would be quite and listen they would realize...

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has no secrets.

We only have very sacred, personal practices in our religion. 

 

I have always felt the need to correct people when they are wrong, but everyone knows no one will admit to being "wrong"when they are shown the truth.

No one person can ever just give the truth of this gospel to anyone.

It is something that just like every other thing in life...

YOU your self have to truly have the want to understand the truth, and then you allow yourself to receive it.

People who preach anti-mormonism are simply wasting their time..

I mean honestly, what are you trying to prove?

We are not brain sucking, cult practicing freaks.

 

 Two things often brought up: Joseph Smith, and Polygamy

 

 

Joseph Smith was simply a man chosen by God to restore the true gospel on the face of the Earth. Joseph Smith's time was in the 1830's in a time of great confusion and religious excitement.

You learned about this in History class...

"The Great Awakening"

You may think it is a coincidence, but I choose to believe that God knew what he was doing and what he was starting.

As for the whole polygamy thing, this always gets changed around because the world we live in is perverted and ignorant.

The church was brought up after the civil war and many women's husbands were killed in the war, so as valiant men (only the most righteous were granted this privilege) they took care of women who were widowed after the war. This was not "I'm gonna marry as many woman as I can"  

NO.

Many women were left with no shelter, no food, and no income because of the loss of their husbands, and some men were able to take them in and give them a home, protection from those persecuting the Mormons, and food.

In the late 1800's this practice was stopped and banned from our religion, because it was no longer needed

 

So do realize that if you hear, see, or know someone who practices polygamy, they are by no means a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or as many call us by, Mormon.

 

 

If a person does not want to believe something that is a personal thing, and no one needs to judge them for that.

But I am a firm believer in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints,

and you won't ever see me going around bashing other people's religions.

WHY you ask?

Well, why waste my time bashing other's beliefs just because I have insecurites and guilt on the inside when I could be strengthening  myself in my faith, my beliefs,my testimony

"Would Heavenly Father or Jesus Christ want me to judge my brothers and sisters, his children, in my carnal ignorance?"

 

"Would Heavenly Father or Jesus Christ want me to persecute my brethren?"

 

I only know that I am doing what I feel I need to do when it comes to my faith, so why do so many people focus on sharing lies about Latter-day Saints when they could use that energy to strengthen themselves.

I understand that not everyone does or will understand the actual truth about Latter-day Saints, but realize that when any one tries to learn about anything with a stiff neck and no actual intention of learning...they won't learn..

This principle stands in school, in work, and at home..

and it is no different when it comes to learning about religion.

You know the good ol' saying our mother's all said to us growing up...

"If you don't having anything nice to say, don't say anything."

Well I think

"If you don't have any truth to share, don't share anything at all."

But of course, I do realize that there will always be those people who will choose to remain ignorant and not understand the truth about how amazing, pure, and absolutely true this gospel is.

"Pauline you are beautiful, when will you realize that?"

This is what my sister says to me when I complain about being ugly.

<3

Well I have not written in awhile, so I figured I needed to.

Let's see. First I suppose I will start with talking about going off to college.

It is just around the corner, 32 days to be exact.

I have already started to pack and buy things for up in Idaho.

I just keep getting more and more excited to start this new adventure.

Granted, I will miss my dearest Mommy and Daddy who have been my everything,

but that is just part of growing up, and I know that they are excited for me to have amazing experiences at BYU.

So, another topic to talk about, the week before I leave for school, I am going to my last year of GIRL'S CAMP!

It is going to be an absolute blast!

We had a J.C. sleepover last weekend, and a couple of the other girls and I decided (by accident) to pull an all nighter.

Before hand I knew of these girls, had smiled at them before, and maybe ran into them at some church functions, but after our all night discussion session, we really got to know each other and hear each other's stories.

And I just have to say that it is so great to hear about other people's lives and about the struggles and trials that they have been through.

It has always been easy for me to look at a person and immediately think, 

"Oh I wouldn't like her, because she is probably like ..or..."

So I always keep my distance from people I don't know.

All night I was kind of doing that, because I was surrounded by girls that I didn't really "know"

So finally the time came for us to go to bed and what not, and one girl that I know better than the others waved at me to follow her and her friends.

So I did.

And I am so glad that I did.

I was able to share some of my stories about things I have been through, and they were able to share things that they have been through.

It was so great to make friendships with people I never before knew in the time period of only a couple hours.

And because of those new friendships, I am even more excited than I was before to go to Girl's Camp this year!

One more thing that I want to talk about and then I will depart to be with my mommy as she is resting from her surgery ( which went perfectly fine, no worries!)

Pride.

 When someone is prideful, they don't and won't admit it. Not even to themselves.

Pride will be the death of the beholder, sometimes it has to kill you before you can be cured from it.

But just always know, "If you can not humble your self, the Lord will humble you."

Okay, well like I said, I am going to go now. I hope all is well with all those who are reading this! Be sure to keep in touch, there is more to come, as always :)

LDS.ORG

(The ONLY accurate internet source on LDS doctrine)

The Family

---

A Proclamation to the World

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

Passion of the Christ

So last night I had the privilege of watching

Passion of the Christ

and even though it creeped me out with its Satan moments,

I think that movie can change lives.

It changed mine.

I am glad tht I finally watched it after years of being told I was too young and too sensitive.

I knew that Christ was beaten with whips, but I did not know the extremity of how badly he was beaten, even though the movie exaggerated it, it is still eye opening to see it rather than to just read about it.

The whole time I was watching him in agony as he was beaten, or as he fell to the ground, or as he was drug around, spat upon, kicked, slapped, ridiculed...

All I could think was...

Why have I ever been so ignorant to sin?

You may say, "Sin happens...every body sins."

But I know that I have sinned in perfect knowledge before that I was making a mistake.

It was so hard to watch the movie and realize "this is for me."

 The whole time I was watching I found that I kept asking myself

"How in the world could Heavenly Father will this?"

But I realized, Jesus Christ had the ability through out the process to stop the pain, to stop the whole thing.

He had the capability to prove his holiness to all those doubting him and lying of his works.

But he knew he was sent for a greater purpose.

He knew this was his purpose.

As he was being beaten, his accusers walked away...

As he was hanging, and left for dead upon the cross, his accusers walked away. 

While the whole experience was so painful for me to watch, In the end...

He was resurrected and his body was perfect.

With only the scars on his hands, feet, and side.. 

He walked out of the tomb.

 And finally, in his words,

"It is done."

Stay with me

I was thinking of how horrified I am of being alone in the dark, inside and especially outside.

I am often teased and laughed at for my "phobia" of the dark and what lurks in it at the age of eighteen.

"What are you going to do when you are married?"

"What about when you're at college and surrounded by mountains...people live in the mountains you know."

Well I have thought about this, first off in college, I will force my room mate to get the light hen it is time for bed, and I will have a lamp right next to my bed. As for when I get married? Well my husband will be so very madly in love with me and he will make the sacrifice of turning of the lights every single night for the rest of his life ( I say this in a loving manner of course)

But really, I have a meaning behind the madness of this post.

When Jesus entered into the forest and went unto the Lord in prayer, all he asked was for his disciples to stay awake and wait for him. 

They let him down.

 Not just once either, multiple times.

This story is something very special to me, it always has been.

I do realize that it is highly  illogical for Aliens to come and get me while I am sleeping,

or for someone to be watching me while I slumber (unless I secretly have a Bella type lover in my life then that would be acceptable.)

And while realizing this, I also understand that this story holds an entirely different meaning than the one I find.

But I know the Lord knows my fears, weaknesses, strengths, and comforts.

And I know he knows that this story brings me comfort.

Because, you see, even though the savior was "alone" when his disciples fell asleep when he asked them not to, Heavenly Father was only a beckoning away.

And when Jesus returned to prayer after realizing his followers did not listen to him, the father still remained constant and unwavering in his constant companionship with Jesus Christ.

Never leaving him alone. Even at his weakest moments.

So as everyone may ALWAYS continue to laugh at my fear of the dark, I do know how to get through it with the Lord's help( plus a lamp or flashlight with in reach)...for that is how I do all things.

<3

I wish so badly that I could beat BYU-I right now...

withdrawls

I feel like Glee is a part of me, and now that it is not on anymore...I feel an emotional separation.

Sad isn't it?

Be Not Slothful

 Both of these boys are angels.

No Worries My Dear.

My dear Doll,

You know who you are.

You are such a gem.

I wish you could understand how great your individual worth is.

I want the best for you.

I know that you are upset about me leaving for college.

Even though I am leaving, our friendship is not ending.

That is a promise from the bottom of my heart.

You know you mean alot to me, and I wish great things for you.

You are so smart.

You are so beautiful, and I wish you could see your self through my eyes.

You may have a copious amount of things to get you down,

but you always grin and bear it, even when you should not have to.

You have been a marvelous friend to me.

I never before would have imagined how great our friendship would be.

I truly hope that me leaving for college will not hold you back from happiness.

The world is waiting for you to explore it.

So don't let the physical separation hold you back from doing anything.

I know for a fact that you are capable of anything. I mean it.

I know words may not make you feel better when I am gone and you are missing me,

but I hope this will ring you some comfort.

You are such a fine girl,

and sooner than you know it you will be such a great woman.

I love you very much, remember that.

Life is a playground

Well, I just want to write something since I haven't in a while. I'm watching big Bang theory with my mom. I love this show, it is so funny. I have enjoyed this week off from school, getting this taste of freedom is simply exciting me for graduation even more! I applied to about 5 nanny jobs for the summer to hopefully earn more money for college, but have yet to hear any replies. I'm too impatient for this stuff. You know what I have noticed since yesterday now that a boy from BYU is working with me, BYU kids say "frick" ALOT. atleast some of them do. And I don't like it. The commandment says "thou shalt not swear" not "thou shalt not say the f-word but moderated versions of it are okay" I just find it kind of annoying. Another thing. Now my mom is watching CSI. I HATE this show. I am way way way too sensitive for this kind of stuff. I get irritated at seeing a dead roach, anything with death or torture makes me feel like throwing up. It literally makes me weak to think about someone being tortured. I understand that she likes the scientific part of it and all, but this show is just so gross to me. I don't want to go back to school... I want to just go to BYU already, but I don't look forward to leaving all my lovelies back here in town. It will be very hard, but I know I will enjoy it so much!Well I'm going to stop blabbering now, I'm going to go watch a movie, maybe I'll write about it later! haha, we will see!

Well.

I hope you don't think you are my knight in shining armor.

So today..

At work

A lady with a 7 month old baby came in.

A three month pregnant lady came in.

And the cutest couple EVER came in. 

The wife is five months pregnant, and the husband couldn't care more about his wife and his future baby.

All of this made me remember how much I yearn to have a little family of my own with a 

cute chubby baby all to my self.

Darn time, and my lack of age.

When I am married and have babies, I will cherish my husband and kids more than life.

You're Gonna Miss This

I know this all too well. I'm going to miss everything while I am making new memories at college.

I feel...

Distraught                                                                       Spiritually uplifted.

In love.             

    Heart broken

        surrounded

                                                     complacent

                                     organized

                                 messy

                                                                                    successful

alone 

lost

Empty.

In The Beginning

So I decided to start this for various reasons. We will see how far I go with this. As for now, I do have something to write my first post about...

Opinions.

Yes, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I am totally for allowing people to speak their mind, but when it comes to insulting other people's opinions, I lose it!

I think it is great when people are so strong and set in their ways, but lately I feel like certain people have constantly been bashing everything I enjoy.

This is not just a rant about how I dislike people insulting my opinions, it is a chance for you to understand what I truly love, and why.

Color Guard.

I love Color Guard. I would leave it at that, but most of you reading this may insult it because of your ignorance on the subject. Color Guard/ Winter Guard is not dancing around on a floor making a fool of yourself to please the public. Color Guard truly is something beautiful created by movement in dance and equipment. You will never understand the rush of perfecting work, or the thrill of hearing the crowd cheer for you and your guard...until you do it; until your guard is successful enough to earn that amazing  feeling from the audience. I have participated in various activities through my life such as Softball, Swimming, Tennis, Track, Volley ball, Basket ball, etc. but none of those have given me such pleasure and happiness as color guard has. Honestly I do not believe anything ever will. I know most of you won't understand how I feel, but maybe you will learn to respect my love for color guard.

Church.

This one will be plain and simple. I will never agree with any one that says The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is not true. We practice wholesome values that help us to better ourselves daily, constantly bringing ourselves closer to Christ. Anyone who desires to have a discussion with me should know I am more than willing to share the gospel with them, but the second you plan to argue with me, I will shut down. I refuse to discuss the Lord's work in such a manner of irreverence. I live to represent Christ, and provide a safe and healthy environment for my peers to dwell in, and in return I simply hope for the same respect however, kids and even some adults do not have the decency to provide such an environment for those around them. Kind of sad. I know.

PERSONALITY

I have always had a very loud and colorful personality. I never disrespect people's personal space or "alone" time, but when I'm having fun with friends, I'm going to have a lot of fun with my friends! I have often been told that I am too loud, my laugh is often made fun of because of how loud it is, and some people even find me annoying? How? I don't know either. Honestly, I love most people, I try to be kind to everyone to make things more comfortable for all people. If anyone has a problem with how I am, then I prefer it to be kept to themselves, because frankly, other people's opinions no matter how much I value them, should be kept to themselves. Please and Thank you.