Seeing the Light

So, I have to share how hectic life has been this semester. 

Before I go any further though, I have to say that I have come to learn that there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel.

So at the beginning of this semester I decided I needed to get a job, and a car, and get myself on my own feet.

Boy did I not see what was coming next!

First off, I got a job and soon after a car...

I didn't realize what kind of "child care" job I had applied for and was now working for.

I soon came to find out that I was titled a "Developmental Therapy Technician" and I would be working with the teenager program and then one little boy on Wednesdays, and then a little girl every morning.

I got my car and everything was going great!

Then...while I was driving to work one morning my car broke down in the middle of the street. 

Talk about embarrassing!

After many phone calls, a nice police officer, and a free tow thanks to my insurance I was off for the day and  safe in the Idaho Falls Smith car dealership to have my car fixed. 

Of course my immediate thought is, "My battery is dead, I have no oil, my engine just broke, Is my car ever gonna start again?"

Pretty dramatic, right? 

Well welcome to the mind set of Pauline ;)

After spending a whole entire day in this car dealership with Jessica and some very nice men, one in particular who devoted his whole day to trying to get me to go behind my parent's back and buy a car, I found out exactly what was wrong with my car. 

A broken fuel pump...

"It's going to cost you a little over $800 ma'am..."

Excuse me? No it isn't. Just put that little thing right there, Wam Bam, we're done, here's $200.

Yeah, I wish.

While I still had this man telling me to go against my parent's orders and buy a different car, I did not listen and payed my $800 with a very heavy heart and went on my way.

I thought that would be the last of my car troubles.

While this man was trying to convince me I needed a new car he went ahead and ran a car facts on my car... man oh man was I upset with what he found!

After being told that my car had a clean title, and that it ran great ( that had already been proved wrong) I was told that my car in fact has a SALVAGED title...

First off, it is illegal to sell someone a salvaged title and not tell them. That depreciates the value by more than 50%.

Then I came to find out that suing them would just put me more in the drain, and I might not even get my money back from these people. 

Well, a couple weeks go by and I am beginning to realize that some of these kids I work with can get pretty vicious!

I was chased with scissors, almost stabbed with a pencil, thrown up against the wall and held there completely helpless for quite sometime, elbowed in the stomach, I had to keep a kid in the isolation room to keep him from hurting other clients only to have a huge metal door fall on me when he began to act up, then I  had my chest scratched up by a kid who hadn't had his nails clipped recently, and my favorite would have to be having kids try to pull my hair out. The "Bun" quickly became my favorite hairstyle.

You know what? As awful as all of this sounds, I came to truly love my kids. I prayed everyday for my kids. I prayed that they would be happy, and that the Holy Ghost would teach me what would be best fro their personal needs. My prayers were answered every day. I also began to look at life in a completely different light. I can't imagine what it would be like to have a mother and father who don't take care of me, or who don't care for my well being. I can't imagine being stuck in a mentality where I don't know how to express myself. Many days I was brought to tears as I sat off to the side and watched clients burst into tears and throw fits because they didn't know how to ask for what they needed/wanted. But the coolest thing about all of this, is knowing that all of these kids are Celestial beings. One day these kiddos will gain a great reward for all the things they went through in this mortality. It was also amazing to see just how precious and innocent these kids were when they weren't acting up out of frustration. They really are little angels who just want to be loved. 9 out of 10 times that a child was fussing, crying, or throwing a fit the cure was simply a big long bear hug or just grabbing their hands and looking them in the eyes and telling them everything was okay.

So, as much as I had grown to love my kids I had to quit my job because, well you guessed it, my lovely car failed me again.

Monday on my break in between shifts I went to hang out with my good friend Hans like I do all the time. Well when it came time to leave, my car wouldn't start.

I did the only thing I knew to do... I said a prayer.

Of course heavenly Father couldn't fix my car, but he brought me the help I needed and he kept me calm, well mostly calm.

My car got towed fixed and whatever else it needed.

Apparently since my ignition was hesitating to start it triggered the theft system convincing my car that it was being stolen and it wouldn't start anymore.

So, there went another $500 on this car.

After thinking about it Mom told me to quit my job and that her and Dad would support me through everything. 

This was hard for me to do because I was so convinced that quitting my job would be the end of the world, I did not want Mom and Dad having to pay for all my stuff again.

So after spending all night crying over what I was going through I woke up to a friend asking how everything turned out.

After telling him that I had to quit my job and pay boocoodles of money, he said this to me...

"...It's all going to work out. Light always follows the dark times in our lives when we are living right, Pauline you're living right."

This was exactly what I needed to hear and I just started crying again. It was like Heavenly Father answered my prayers through him. 

Life all the sudden seemed easier after hearing that. I humbled myself and said a prayer of thanks for everything that was going on. 

I know Heavenly Father loves me and has a marvelous plan laid out for me. I know that I can rely on my parents in all things, and that they will always support me no matter what I do. I do know that trials are here to strengthen us and that all will be alright.

I know that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel!

Life is Only a Dream

I just feel the need to share how grateful I am for all that I have.

After losing a friend this week in a sudden and tragic death, I realize you can never be too careful about sharing your love!

We should always do our part to spread happiness, and let our loved ones know we love them, don't just assume they know!

I am also extremely thankful for Heavenly Father answering my prayers.

I know that he hears and answers us in his own due time when he feels we are prepared to follow and accept his will. 

I am so thankful for Heavenly Father's hand in my life, and I am grateful for where he has brought me in life.

I couldn't be happier.

Still Summer!

I haven't written in quite sometime so I suppose since I have nothing better to do I could update everyone!

My summer in Texas was great! It was wonderful to see old familiar faces and rekindle great memories and make new ones all at the same time! I must admit I will never miss that heat. I thought I missed it, until I was reminded of how hot it really is.

Jordan's wedding was fabulous! She was breathtaking! When she put her dress on all I could do was cry! Anyone who saw her would have to agree; she looked like a princess! Every girl deserves to look their absolute best on their wedding day, and she sure did! It may have been hot and muggy, but the whole ceremony was beautiful! Everything paid off, and it went very smoothly! Jordan and Jeff ended up getting married, so I guess you could say it was a success ;)

I got to spend time with many of my family members, and that was of course the best part of the Summer break. I loved seeing my grandparents and hearing all sorts of stories about our family history! I wish I could just go back in time and meet all these incredible people I am related to! I love hearing all the stories, and I can't wait to be able to put faces to these names!

I came back to Idaho a couple weeks before the semester starts, so that's where I am currently!

Since I've been back I haven't done too much, but I am of course having a blast! I went boating for the first time ever! It was crazy fun! I tried tubing with my friend Jessica, and it went well...for me at least! She actually ended up accidentally punching herself in the face and getting a nose bleed!!! Crazy, right? It happened so fast I didn't even realize she wasn't on the tube anymore and I ended up flipping over sideways off the tube! It was fun while it lasted. I screamed and laughed the whole way, and I would definitely do it over again!

As for what I'm doing to stay productive... not too much for the time being ;) I'm glad to be going back to the gym, and hanging out with friends, but I really can't wait for classes to start! Then I'll be set to go! I'm super excited for this semester, and what ever Heavenly Father has in store for me! I know it's going to be great!

The Book of Mormon

I just want to say how much I love The Book of Mormon.

Every time I read it it means something different to me.

I am able to interpret it in a new light according to the things going on in my life.

I know that when we liken the scriptures to ourselves they can give us the answers we are searching for. 

I have never received better inspiration or comfort than from the scriptures.

I know that The Bible and The Book of Mormon go hand in hand together and they testify of each other.

Studying one will only give you a greater understanding of the other.

If you have never read The Book of Mormon, or it has been a while since you have, I encourage you to do so. 

Like I said, nothing makes me happier than a nice quiet opportunity to study the scriptures and I can't miss out on sharing my happiness with you!

Please?

All I wanna do is run. 

But stuff always comes up, so I never get to.

Since I can't run I get all stressed out.

It stinks.

I'm gonna run in the morning. 

It'll be a good day.

That is all.

:D

This tastes funny...

I don't know if it is because I am getting older, or if it is because of moving up to Idaho but my taste buds have changed so much!

I ove eating things that I used to hate, and I hate things I used to like. 

Or the things up here just taste differently than they do down in Texas.

Either way it's super strange to me.

When the Goin' Gets Rough; Get Tough!

Sometimes it's hard to say goodbye to someone when they never really left but you know everything is about to change for good.

I can't ever be the first to say goodbye, but I think it's time I learn. I think it's time I stop letting myself be the one to get hurt. My mom helped me realize today that I have been growing up and maturing a lot since I've moved away and I suppose this is just part of growing up. 

It'll never be easy, but it is worth it...right?

What are Best Friends For?

I love our late night conversations about anything and everything.

I love how easy it is to talk to you.

I love how comfortable we are around each other, and how much we are alike.

I love that we have become so close and that we are such good friends.

I couldn't ask for a better best friend.

I love you Brianne Carree; you're not a little girl anymore ;)

Faith in His Timing

So I was sent to talk to some counselor lady today, and let's just say she left me quite annoyed.

Why do people feel the need to tear people apart until they find what they are truly sensitive about?

Do these people enjoy others crying? 

Not only did I feel like nothing was being accomplished but now I have to take a two hour personality test next Wednesday...Joy.

Oh well, Life is to be enjoyed and I won't let one lady ruin how god everything is going for me.

I want to write about the Lord's timing.

It is so perfect!

He gives us the right things at the perfect time; truly he does!

Some things will seem to not make sense and all we wish for is understanding, but I have a testimony that as we have faith and trust in him he will bless us with peace and the understanding of things will come as he wills it.

As I reflect upon things in my life I realize that he really has been right there beside me through it all.

All the heartaches I have been through, he carried me and brought me through them. He didn't make things easier, he made me stronger, and for that I will always be grateful!

I'm sure I will have many more trials and heartaches in the days and years to come, but I know that I have a stronger testimony of the Lord's ability to carry me through them as I have faith in him.

I love being able to look at my friends and the things they have been through and how Heavenly father brings them the most amazing blessings right when they need them in their life.

I know there is a plan for all of us; something greater than our own will.

As well as even greater blessings and happiness than we could ever find on our own.

<3

These lovely people came into my life at the perfect time, and I don't know where I would be with out them.

Just another proof of the Lord's perfect timing!

pebbles of wisdom

“The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.”

—	Paul Valery

It just gets better from here!

Guys!

Life is AMAZING! 

Sometimes I wish I could just scream from the mountain tops about how much I love everything!

I have the best friends and a wonderful supporting family that gives me strength day by day!

I love all the adventures that I am able to have as I am in good ol' Idaho.

 I really feel at home here. It's wonderful.

 I'm in the best shape I have ever been in, and i am getting in even better shape every day!

I am running two 5Ks this month, and I can't believe it!

I am surpassing my goals and having to make new ones!

My family has been so blessed, I don't even know where to start!

My sister graduated from nursing school and already has a job, and she is marrying an awesome man, finally ;) on July 21st. 

I get a new brother-in-law along with that special wedding.

My sister is having a baby in August, little baby Colton! I'm so excited, she is an incredible mommy and wife.

I get to see all my siblings very, very soon and my amazing parents!

My brothers and sisters are truly my best friends. They always know the perfect timing to step in and let me know they're thinking of me!

I am so proud of my Brother and sister, Beth and David, for the wonderful parents they are and the great strengths they are to me. I am so blessed to have amazing nieces and nephews, who bring me happiness just through thinking of them and their quirkiness!

They really do grow up SO fast!

I am so thankful for my brother Michael who serves in the military and has made such amazing sacrifices for his country. You never know how much is truly sacrificed until it's one of your loved ones who is doing it, at least I didn't. I love him, and he is so wonderful to my sister. For that I am thankful!

I love my brother Cori. He is a rock to me. He is always there for me and always has the right things to say, even if sometimes it's not what I want to hear. He knows what's best for me; always! His testimony of the gospel is so strong, and it is a wonderful strength to me! He is so tough, and goes through so much, but he deserves all the wonderful things in his life.

My Brother David is also a rock to me. I think brothers don't realize how much they really mean t their sisters. I love that we can live our lives according to our ways and still have the knowledge that we love each other and wish the best for each other. He's an amazing Dad, and he is my cowboy influence; the reason I love everything to do with country :)

I have the most amazing grandparents a kid could ask for. I have the best memories of growing up and having them so active in my life. I am so thankful for the blessing they have been and continue to be in my life. 

And last, but certainly not least. Those parents of mine.

My mommy raised me well, I think I turned out alright ;)

She goes through so many struggles and pains in her life, but you would never know it because she'll never show it. She is one of the strongest women I know. I love being able to talk with my mommy so often and how loving and supportive she is to me.

Now for Daddy. I don't think words can describe the love and respect I have for that man. Talk about a man who knows how to spread and share his talents, who knows how to support a family, who knows how to love a women, who knows how to speak when words are needed, and just give you a look or a hug when words are not needed. He has taught me hard work, dedication, and patience. He has never expected anything less than the best from me and while that was hard growing up, I am thankful for that now as I am on my own and need to realize I am capable of great things. No man can compare to the greatness of my daddy, and my hope is to find a man someday who can have my daddy's stamp of approval; after all he won't let me settle for anything but the best!

And for this specific time in my life, I am thankful for my Biggest Winner team and my trainers. I have met some amazing people whose dedication and will power help me stay strong everyday!

My trainers Alyssa, and Jenny are so amazing! They are perfect for me! I love that they are not only my trainers, but that they are two of my good friends!

I can honestly go on for hours about the amazing blessings in my life, but I know none of us have the time for that!

I just wanted to let you taste a slice of my gratefulness!

Smile

God gives us each over 100 reasons everyday to smile.

So when you feel like being upset about one thing he hasn't given you, smile knowing that he is preparing something better for you.

And sometimes, a smile is all someone needs to turn their day around.

Been a while

It's been too long since my last post, so i figured I could write a quick something.

Life has been amazing. I am so blessed. 

I have the best roommates, and the greatest friends.

I couldn't ask for a better family, and I couldn't love them more.

I've been working out A LOT this semester, and I plan on keeping it up.

We started Zumba tonight, and I'm planning on making it an every night routine.

Besides a little stress with projects in school, I couldn't find one negative thing in my life.

It is such a humbling experience to have my three best friends all serving missions while I am also away at school.

Crazy to think that we are all four in different states...or countries for that matter.

Being away from the friends I love the most has really opened my eyes to see that ALL friends, not just those you hold closest to your heart, are precious gifts from Heavenly father. 

I am thankful that my friends decided a long time ago that they were going to be faithful servants in serving the Lord.

I love being able to write them letters, and even send them packages from time to time.

I am so excited for them, and I love hearing their stories!

I couldn't have been blessed with better examples in my life.

School is going well.

I am really loving my education classes.

It is very nice to finally be taking classes towards my major besides foundations.

My ward up here is amazing...uh-mazing!!!

Can you tell how happy and grateful I am for the good, and the not so good in my life?

And, if that isn't good enough L. Tom Perry is speaking to us next Tuesday at Devotional!! 

I can't wait!

Life...is good!