Seeing the Light

So, I have to share how hectic life has been this semester. 

Before I go any further though, I have to say that I have come to learn that there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel.

So at the beginning of this semester I decided I needed to get a job, and a car, and get myself on my own feet.

Boy did I not see what was coming next!

First off, I got a job and soon after a car...

I didn't realize what kind of "child care" job I had applied for and was now working for.

I soon came to find out that I was titled a "Developmental Therapy Technician" and I would be working with the teenager program and then one little boy on Wednesdays, and then a little girl every morning.

I got my car and everything was going great!

Then...while I was driving to work one morning my car broke down in the middle of the street. 

Talk about embarrassing!

After many phone calls, a nice police officer, and a free tow thanks to my insurance I was off for the day and  safe in the Idaho Falls Smith car dealership to have my car fixed. 

Of course my immediate thought is, "My battery is dead, I have no oil, my engine just broke, Is my car ever gonna start again?"

Pretty dramatic, right? 

Well welcome to the mind set of Pauline ;)

After spending a whole entire day in this car dealership with Jessica and some very nice men, one in particular who devoted his whole day to trying to get me to go behind my parent's back and buy a car, I found out exactly what was wrong with my car. 

A broken fuel pump...

"It's going to cost you a little over $800 ma'am..."

Excuse me? No it isn't. Just put that little thing right there, Wam Bam, we're done, here's $200.

Yeah, I wish.

While I still had this man telling me to go against my parent's orders and buy a different car, I did not listen and payed my $800 with a very heavy heart and went on my way.

I thought that would be the last of my car troubles.

While this man was trying to convince me I needed a new car he went ahead and ran a car facts on my car... man oh man was I upset with what he found!

After being told that my car had a clean title, and that it ran great ( that had already been proved wrong) I was told that my car in fact has a SALVAGED title...

First off, it is illegal to sell someone a salvaged title and not tell them. That depreciates the value by more than 50%.

Then I came to find out that suing them would just put me more in the drain, and I might not even get my money back from these people. 

Well, a couple weeks go by and I am beginning to realize that some of these kids I work with can get pretty vicious!

I was chased with scissors, almost stabbed with a pencil, thrown up against the wall and held there completely helpless for quite sometime, elbowed in the stomach, I had to keep a kid in the isolation room to keep him from hurting other clients only to have a huge metal door fall on me when he began to act up, then I  had my chest scratched up by a kid who hadn't had his nails clipped recently, and my favorite would have to be having kids try to pull my hair out. The "Bun" quickly became my favorite hairstyle.

You know what? As awful as all of this sounds, I came to truly love my kids. I prayed everyday for my kids. I prayed that they would be happy, and that the Holy Ghost would teach me what would be best fro their personal needs. My prayers were answered every day. I also began to look at life in a completely different light. I can't imagine what it would be like to have a mother and father who don't take care of me, or who don't care for my well being. I can't imagine being stuck in a mentality where I don't know how to express myself. Many days I was brought to tears as I sat off to the side and watched clients burst into tears and throw fits because they didn't know how to ask for what they needed/wanted. But the coolest thing about all of this, is knowing that all of these kids are Celestial beings. One day these kiddos will gain a great reward for all the things they went through in this mortality. It was also amazing to see just how precious and innocent these kids were when they weren't acting up out of frustration. They really are little angels who just want to be loved. 9 out of 10 times that a child was fussing, crying, or throwing a fit the cure was simply a big long bear hug or just grabbing their hands and looking them in the eyes and telling them everything was okay.

So, as much as I had grown to love my kids I had to quit my job because, well you guessed it, my lovely car failed me again.

Monday on my break in between shifts I went to hang out with my good friend Hans like I do all the time. Well when it came time to leave, my car wouldn't start.

I did the only thing I knew to do... I said a prayer.

Of course heavenly Father couldn't fix my car, but he brought me the help I needed and he kept me calm, well mostly calm.

My car got towed fixed and whatever else it needed.

Apparently since my ignition was hesitating to start it triggered the theft system convincing my car that it was being stolen and it wouldn't start anymore.

So, there went another $500 on this car.

After thinking about it Mom told me to quit my job and that her and Dad would support me through everything. 

This was hard for me to do because I was so convinced that quitting my job would be the end of the world, I did not want Mom and Dad having to pay for all my stuff again.

So after spending all night crying over what I was going through I woke up to a friend asking how everything turned out.

After telling him that I had to quit my job and pay boocoodles of money, he said this to me...

"...It's all going to work out. Light always follows the dark times in our lives when we are living right, Pauline you're living right."

This was exactly what I needed to hear and I just started crying again. It was like Heavenly Father answered my prayers through him. 

Life all the sudden seemed easier after hearing that. I humbled myself and said a prayer of thanks for everything that was going on. 

I know Heavenly Father loves me and has a marvelous plan laid out for me. I know that I can rely on my parents in all things, and that they will always support me no matter what I do. I do know that trials are here to strengthen us and that all will be alright.

I know that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel!