This Trial is Not Yours Alone

I have thoughts all the time that make me think; "this thought is not for me alone." 

In my stake here at Rexburg this semester we have a list of goals, and one of them is to record our thoughts in a journal. I have kind of been slacking at that. (CONFESSION)

But, just because I haven't written them all down doesn't mean they haven't come into my mind.

I sometimes fall in love with the thoughts Heavenly Father puts in my head. 

I love the opportunity to sit and ponder on things. I love going on walks, and runs so that I can just let my mind flow! And this...is the result of those thoughts.

I've gone through the biggest trial of my life (so far) for the last 4-5 months. 

Let's be real guys, being sent home from a mission (for whatever the reason) is not easy. 

1. Everyone asks you about why you are home.

-It's not their business.

2. When some people hear you have medical problems, they automatically want to know what the problem is, because they think you are dying.

-Not all medical problems are life threatening, and honestly, the depth of my medical problems are extremely personal to me.

3. Others assume you are having problems with the church. Whether it is your testimony or obedience, you get the judgement of "You no longer belong here" or "What have you done?"

- I know where I stand with the Lord, and it is a good place. But, where do you stand for judging me unrighteously?

4. There will be that one person who tells you that you failed. That you are not a returned missionary. That you did not serve a mission. And all the sudden you feel inadequate to ever talk about your mission again.

-Let me tell you. Satan is the only voice that will ever tell you that you have failed. And my friend, I served the mission the Lord needed me to serve. I am a returned missionary. I did serve a mission. And I will talk abut my mission. 

If someone judges you, or can't accept you because "you didn't finish your mission" then they are the ones with the weight on their shoulders. Because, you see, when you give your whole heart, your full effort, everything you have to serve the Lord and in the end you just can't go on will Jesus Christ look at you and say "tisk, risk. You didn't finish." 

No. He will not. I imagine he will say something like... "Thank you for proving to me that you were willing to do my will instead of your own. Thank you for being my servant despite the difficulty. Well done, I am proud of you."

In the Gospel of Jesus Christ, there is no such thing as Failure. Because failure is an endpoint; a final destination. And in the plan of Jesus Christ, there is no end. We are meant to progress for eternity. We are meant to experience hard things because the Lord knows we are ready to grow from the pain. Trials are a sign of God's love for us. He sees potential in us, and He will do all in His power to help us reach it. 

I have learned so many lessons from this experience. The most important one being how much my Father in Heaven, and my Savior, Jesus Christ, love me. He loves us truly, deeply, but most importantly He love us personally.

I know I have grown from this trial. I have become a stronger person in this Gospel. Before my mission I knew the church was true, but now? Now I know, with every fiber of my being, that this is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. No where else on the face of the Earth can you find the peace, and the fullness of this gospel. And that is because this is the church of Jesus Christ restored upon the earth in these latter-days! 

However, back to my very first sentence...

I have thoughts all the time that make me think; "this thought is not for me alone."

Even though I had these thoughts, even though I wrote this up, this is not for me. This is for someone, somewhere who needed to hear it. The Holy Spirit shares things with us so that we can help and teach others. 

What I want people to understand from reading this is that, what happens to you is not only meant for you. Find strength from your experiences, but more importantly find wisdom in them so that you can share that wisdom with the people it is really meant for. Because in the end, God never intended for us to do things for ourselves, but for the service, support, and love of our dear brothers and sisters.

I know my Savior loves me. I know I am meant to do all I can to help others during and through my trials. I know that all things, no matter how hard, or how minuscule, are from our Father in Heaven, and they are to help us grow; to fulfill our divine potential.