Christ is the Blood

I have had some friends go through pretty rough patches recently, and it’s painful to watch. I know I have been through my fair share, as have we all. I realized that there seems to be some underlying theme in each person’s life that I talk with from day to day. For me I find that people who are friends, interests, whatever, have a habit of just cutting connections with me one day totally out of the blue and hiding the truth from me; that’s one of my biggest fears, and that’s how it always seems to end. One friend constantly feels like the new person they are dating is finally “the one” when all the sudden things don’t work out. I could go on and on with the different underlying themes in all of our individual lives, but I think you can point out the repeating themes in your own life.

A few nights ago I had a realization of what I feel to be revelation from Heavenly Father. I was stressed about life, school, work, etc. roommates were upset about boys, and good friends were upset about girls, life is just hard for everyone in different ways. Every one of us kept saying “This always happens to me!”

So, why? Why does this always happen to me/you/us?

I work as a Physical Therapy Technician at the hospital and as part of that I get to assist with wound care from time to time. One thing with burns and other big wounds is that we have to do whatever it takes for healthy skin to grow back in order for the patient to be fully healed. In order for “good” skin to grow, they have to bleed. So when patients come in we have to pick off the bad skin and MAKE them bleed. The patients hate this part! They often think that the skin on there already is good enough. As the specialist in wound care, however, the Physical Therapist recognizes that the skin the patient thinks to be healthy is in fact not at all healthy and has to be stripped off. Once the bad skin is peeled away and the bleeding takes place then the patient can be cleaned up, wrapped up, and they are free to go on their way til next time. Then the process repeats several times depending on the severity of the wound, each time with the patient in pain but the Therapist having full knowledge that they are doing what is best for the patient.

Okay…? So what?

We are the patients, God is the Therapist, and Christ is the blood.

God knows exactly what we have to go through in order to be strong; to be our best selves. We have to endure the pain time and time again, always thinking “this is finally it!” when in reality it is merely another step to make us “bleed” in the process of being made whole. However, Christ has already shed the blood for us, for our wounds. When we turn to Christ we can be healed as our life seems to be falling apart, but in reality it is only falling in line with God’s will.

Healing is not a comfortable, easy process. You must think of your life in the same sense as a healing wound; you are going to be torn apart, you have to use the blood of Christ in order to be healed, and you have to trust in God because He knows exactly what He is doing with you.

Have faith and trust in the healer; Him tearing you down is Him loving you enough to build you into something beautiful.

This Trial is Not Yours Alone

I have thoughts all the time that make me think; "this thought is not for me alone." 

In my stake here at Rexburg this semester we have a list of goals, and one of them is to record our thoughts in a journal. I have kind of been slacking at that. (CONFESSION)

But, just because I haven't written them all down doesn't mean they haven't come into my mind.

I sometimes fall in love with the thoughts Heavenly Father puts in my head. 

I love the opportunity to sit and ponder on things. I love going on walks, and runs so that I can just let my mind flow! And this...is the result of those thoughts.

I've gone through the biggest trial of my life (so far) for the last 4-5 months. 

Let's be real guys, being sent home from a mission (for whatever the reason) is not easy. 

1. Everyone asks you about why you are home.

-It's not their business.

2. When some people hear you have medical problems, they automatically want to know what the problem is, because they think you are dying.

-Not all medical problems are life threatening, and honestly, the depth of my medical problems are extremely personal to me.

3. Others assume you are having problems with the church. Whether it is your testimony or obedience, you get the judgement of "You no longer belong here" or "What have you done?"

- I know where I stand with the Lord, and it is a good place. But, where do you stand for judging me unrighteously?

4. There will be that one person who tells you that you failed. That you are not a returned missionary. That you did not serve a mission. And all the sudden you feel inadequate to ever talk about your mission again.

-Let me tell you. Satan is the only voice that will ever tell you that you have failed. And my friend, I served the mission the Lord needed me to serve. I am a returned missionary. I did serve a mission. And I will talk abut my mission. 

If someone judges you, or can't accept you because "you didn't finish your mission" then they are the ones with the weight on their shoulders. Because, you see, when you give your whole heart, your full effort, everything you have to serve the Lord and in the end you just can't go on will Jesus Christ look at you and say "tisk, risk. You didn't finish." 

No. He will not. I imagine he will say something like... "Thank you for proving to me that you were willing to do my will instead of your own. Thank you for being my servant despite the difficulty. Well done, I am proud of you."

In the Gospel of Jesus Christ, there is no such thing as Failure. Because failure is an endpoint; a final destination. And in the plan of Jesus Christ, there is no end. We are meant to progress for eternity. We are meant to experience hard things because the Lord knows we are ready to grow from the pain. Trials are a sign of God's love for us. He sees potential in us, and He will do all in His power to help us reach it. 

I have learned so many lessons from this experience. The most important one being how much my Father in Heaven, and my Savior, Jesus Christ, love me. He loves us truly, deeply, but most importantly He love us personally.

I know I have grown from this trial. I have become a stronger person in this Gospel. Before my mission I knew the church was true, but now? Now I know, with every fiber of my being, that this is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. No where else on the face of the Earth can you find the peace, and the fullness of this gospel. And that is because this is the church of Jesus Christ restored upon the earth in these latter-days! 

However, back to my very first sentence...

I have thoughts all the time that make me think; "this thought is not for me alone."

Even though I had these thoughts, even though I wrote this up, this is not for me. This is for someone, somewhere who needed to hear it. The Holy Spirit shares things with us so that we can help and teach others. 

What I want people to understand from reading this is that, what happens to you is not only meant for you. Find strength from your experiences, but more importantly find wisdom in them so that you can share that wisdom with the people it is really meant for. Because in the end, God never intended for us to do things for ourselves, but for the service, support, and love of our dear brothers and sisters.

I know my Savior loves me. I know I am meant to do all I can to help others during and through my trials. I know that all things, no matter how hard, or how minuscule, are from our Father in Heaven, and they are to help us grow; to fulfill our divine potential.

Seeing the Light

So, I have to share how hectic life has been this semester. 

Before I go any further though, I have to say that I have come to learn that there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel.

So at the beginning of this semester I decided I needed to get a job, and a car, and get myself on my own feet.

Boy did I not see what was coming next!

First off, I got a job and soon after a car...

I didn't realize what kind of "child care" job I had applied for and was now working for.

I soon came to find out that I was titled a "Developmental Therapy Technician" and I would be working with the teenager program and then one little boy on Wednesdays, and then a little girl every morning.

I got my car and everything was going great!

Then...while I was driving to work one morning my car broke down in the middle of the street. 

Talk about embarrassing!

After many phone calls, a nice police officer, and a free tow thanks to my insurance I was off for the day and  safe in the Idaho Falls Smith car dealership to have my car fixed. 

Of course my immediate thought is, "My battery is dead, I have no oil, my engine just broke, Is my car ever gonna start again?"

Pretty dramatic, right? 

Well welcome to the mind set of Pauline ;)

After spending a whole entire day in this car dealership with Jessica and some very nice men, one in particular who devoted his whole day to trying to get me to go behind my parent's back and buy a car, I found out exactly what was wrong with my car. 

A broken fuel pump...

"It's going to cost you a little over $800 ma'am..."

Excuse me? No it isn't. Just put that little thing right there, Wam Bam, we're done, here's $200.

Yeah, I wish.

While I still had this man telling me to go against my parent's orders and buy a different car, I did not listen and payed my $800 with a very heavy heart and went on my way.

I thought that would be the last of my car troubles.

While this man was trying to convince me I needed a new car he went ahead and ran a car facts on my car... man oh man was I upset with what he found!

After being told that my car had a clean title, and that it ran great ( that had already been proved wrong) I was told that my car in fact has a SALVAGED title...

First off, it is illegal to sell someone a salvaged title and not tell them. That depreciates the value by more than 50%.

Then I came to find out that suing them would just put me more in the drain, and I might not even get my money back from these people. 

Well, a couple weeks go by and I am beginning to realize that some of these kids I work with can get pretty vicious!

I was chased with scissors, almost stabbed with a pencil, thrown up against the wall and held there completely helpless for quite sometime, elbowed in the stomach, I had to keep a kid in the isolation room to keep him from hurting other clients only to have a huge metal door fall on me when he began to act up, then I  had my chest scratched up by a kid who hadn't had his nails clipped recently, and my favorite would have to be having kids try to pull my hair out. The "Bun" quickly became my favorite hairstyle.

You know what? As awful as all of this sounds, I came to truly love my kids. I prayed everyday for my kids. I prayed that they would be happy, and that the Holy Ghost would teach me what would be best fro their personal needs. My prayers were answered every day. I also began to look at life in a completely different light. I can't imagine what it would be like to have a mother and father who don't take care of me, or who don't care for my well being. I can't imagine being stuck in a mentality where I don't know how to express myself. Many days I was brought to tears as I sat off to the side and watched clients burst into tears and throw fits because they didn't know how to ask for what they needed/wanted. But the coolest thing about all of this, is knowing that all of these kids are Celestial beings. One day these kiddos will gain a great reward for all the things they went through in this mortality. It was also amazing to see just how precious and innocent these kids were when they weren't acting up out of frustration. They really are little angels who just want to be loved. 9 out of 10 times that a child was fussing, crying, or throwing a fit the cure was simply a big long bear hug or just grabbing their hands and looking them in the eyes and telling them everything was okay.

So, as much as I had grown to love my kids I had to quit my job because, well you guessed it, my lovely car failed me again.

Monday on my break in between shifts I went to hang out with my good friend Hans like I do all the time. Well when it came time to leave, my car wouldn't start.

I did the only thing I knew to do... I said a prayer.

Of course heavenly Father couldn't fix my car, but he brought me the help I needed and he kept me calm, well mostly calm.

My car got towed fixed and whatever else it needed.

Apparently since my ignition was hesitating to start it triggered the theft system convincing my car that it was being stolen and it wouldn't start anymore.

So, there went another $500 on this car.

After thinking about it Mom told me to quit my job and that her and Dad would support me through everything. 

This was hard for me to do because I was so convinced that quitting my job would be the end of the world, I did not want Mom and Dad having to pay for all my stuff again.

So after spending all night crying over what I was going through I woke up to a friend asking how everything turned out.

After telling him that I had to quit my job and pay boocoodles of money, he said this to me...

"...It's all going to work out. Light always follows the dark times in our lives when we are living right, Pauline you're living right."

This was exactly what I needed to hear and I just started crying again. It was like Heavenly Father answered my prayers through him. 

Life all the sudden seemed easier after hearing that. I humbled myself and said a prayer of thanks for everything that was going on. 

I know Heavenly Father loves me and has a marvelous plan laid out for me. I know that I can rely on my parents in all things, and that they will always support me no matter what I do. I do know that trials are here to strengthen us and that all will be alright.

I know that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel!

Life is Only a Dream

I just feel the need to share how grateful I am for all that I have.

After losing a friend this week in a sudden and tragic death, I realize you can never be too careful about sharing your love!

We should always do our part to spread happiness, and let our loved ones know we love them, don't just assume they know!

I am also extremely thankful for Heavenly Father answering my prayers.

I know that he hears and answers us in his own due time when he feels we are prepared to follow and accept his will. 

I am so thankful for Heavenly Father's hand in my life, and I am grateful for where he has brought me in life.

I couldn't be happier.

Still Summer!

I haven't written in quite sometime so I suppose since I have nothing better to do I could update everyone!

My summer in Texas was great! It was wonderful to see old familiar faces and rekindle great memories and make new ones all at the same time! I must admit I will never miss that heat. I thought I missed it, until I was reminded of how hot it really is.

Jordan's wedding was fabulous! She was breathtaking! When she put her dress on all I could do was cry! Anyone who saw her would have to agree; she looked like a princess! Every girl deserves to look their absolute best on their wedding day, and she sure did! It may have been hot and muggy, but the whole ceremony was beautiful! Everything paid off, and it went very smoothly! Jordan and Jeff ended up getting married, so I guess you could say it was a success ;)

I got to spend time with many of my family members, and that was of course the best part of the Summer break. I loved seeing my grandparents and hearing all sorts of stories about our family history! I wish I could just go back in time and meet all these incredible people I am related to! I love hearing all the stories, and I can't wait to be able to put faces to these names!

I came back to Idaho a couple weeks before the semester starts, so that's where I am currently!

Since I've been back I haven't done too much, but I am of course having a blast! I went boating for the first time ever! It was crazy fun! I tried tubing with my friend Jessica, and it went well...for me at least! She actually ended up accidentally punching herself in the face and getting a nose bleed!!! Crazy, right? It happened so fast I didn't even realize she wasn't on the tube anymore and I ended up flipping over sideways off the tube! It was fun while it lasted. I screamed and laughed the whole way, and I would definitely do it over again!

As for what I'm doing to stay productive... not too much for the time being ;) I'm glad to be going back to the gym, and hanging out with friends, but I really can't wait for classes to start! Then I'll be set to go! I'm super excited for this semester, and what ever Heavenly Father has in store for me! I know it's going to be great!

The Book of Mormon

I just want to say how much I love The Book of Mormon.

Every time I read it it means something different to me.

I am able to interpret it in a new light according to the things going on in my life.

I know that when we liken the scriptures to ourselves they can give us the answers we are searching for. 

I have never received better inspiration or comfort than from the scriptures.

I know that The Bible and The Book of Mormon go hand in hand together and they testify of each other.

Studying one will only give you a greater understanding of the other.

If you have never read The Book of Mormon, or it has been a while since you have, I encourage you to do so. 

Like I said, nothing makes me happier than a nice quiet opportunity to study the scriptures and I can't miss out on sharing my happiness with you!

Please?

All I wanna do is run. 

But stuff always comes up, so I never get to.

Since I can't run I get all stressed out.

It stinks.

I'm gonna run in the morning. 

It'll be a good day.

That is all.

:D

This tastes funny...

I don't know if it is because I am getting older, or if it is because of moving up to Idaho but my taste buds have changed so much!

I ove eating things that I used to hate, and I hate things I used to like. 

Or the things up here just taste differently than they do down in Texas.

Either way it's super strange to me.

When the Goin' Gets Rough; Get Tough!

Sometimes it's hard to say goodbye to someone when they never really left but you know everything is about to change for good.

I can't ever be the first to say goodbye, but I think it's time I learn. I think it's time I stop letting myself be the one to get hurt. My mom helped me realize today that I have been growing up and maturing a lot since I've moved away and I suppose this is just part of growing up. 

It'll never be easy, but it is worth it...right?

What are Best Friends For?

I love our late night conversations about anything and everything.

I love how easy it is to talk to you.

I love how comfortable we are around each other, and how much we are alike.

I love that we have become so close and that we are such good friends.

I couldn't ask for a better best friend.

I love you Brianne Carree; you're not a little girl anymore ;)

Faith in His Timing

So I was sent to talk to some counselor lady today, and let's just say she left me quite annoyed.

Why do people feel the need to tear people apart until they find what they are truly sensitive about?

Do these people enjoy others crying? 

Not only did I feel like nothing was being accomplished but now I have to take a two hour personality test next Wednesday...Joy.

Oh well, Life is to be enjoyed and I won't let one lady ruin how god everything is going for me.

I want to write about the Lord's timing.

It is so perfect!

He gives us the right things at the perfect time; truly he does!

Some things will seem to not make sense and all we wish for is understanding, but I have a testimony that as we have faith and trust in him he will bless us with peace and the understanding of things will come as he wills it.

As I reflect upon things in my life I realize that he really has been right there beside me through it all.

All the heartaches I have been through, he carried me and brought me through them. He didn't make things easier, he made me stronger, and for that I will always be grateful!

I'm sure I will have many more trials and heartaches in the days and years to come, but I know that I have a stronger testimony of the Lord's ability to carry me through them as I have faith in him.

I love being able to look at my friends and the things they have been through and how Heavenly father brings them the most amazing blessings right when they need them in their life.

I know there is a plan for all of us; something greater than our own will.

As well as even greater blessings and happiness than we could ever find on our own.

<3

These lovely people came into my life at the perfect time, and I don't know where I would be with out them.

Just another proof of the Lord's perfect timing!

pebbles of wisdom

“The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.”

—	Paul Valery

It just gets better from here!

Guys!

Life is AMAZING! 

Sometimes I wish I could just scream from the mountain tops about how much I love everything!

I have the best friends and a wonderful supporting family that gives me strength day by day!

I love all the adventures that I am able to have as I am in good ol' Idaho.

 I really feel at home here. It's wonderful.

 I'm in the best shape I have ever been in, and i am getting in even better shape every day!

I am running two 5Ks this month, and I can't believe it!

I am surpassing my goals and having to make new ones!

My family has been so blessed, I don't even know where to start!

My sister graduated from nursing school and already has a job, and she is marrying an awesome man, finally ;) on July 21st. 

I get a new brother-in-law along with that special wedding.

My sister is having a baby in August, little baby Colton! I'm so excited, she is an incredible mommy and wife.

I get to see all my siblings very, very soon and my amazing parents!

My brothers and sisters are truly my best friends. They always know the perfect timing to step in and let me know they're thinking of me!

I am so proud of my Brother and sister, Beth and David, for the wonderful parents they are and the great strengths they are to me. I am so blessed to have amazing nieces and nephews, who bring me happiness just through thinking of them and their quirkiness!

They really do grow up SO fast!

I am so thankful for my brother Michael who serves in the military and has made such amazing sacrifices for his country. You never know how much is truly sacrificed until it's one of your loved ones who is doing it, at least I didn't. I love him, and he is so wonderful to my sister. For that I am thankful!

I love my brother Cori. He is a rock to me. He is always there for me and always has the right things to say, even if sometimes it's not what I want to hear. He knows what's best for me; always! His testimony of the gospel is so strong, and it is a wonderful strength to me! He is so tough, and goes through so much, but he deserves all the wonderful things in his life.

My Brother David is also a rock to me. I think brothers don't realize how much they really mean t their sisters. I love that we can live our lives according to our ways and still have the knowledge that we love each other and wish the best for each other. He's an amazing Dad, and he is my cowboy influence; the reason I love everything to do with country :)

I have the most amazing grandparents a kid could ask for. I have the best memories of growing up and having them so active in my life. I am so thankful for the blessing they have been and continue to be in my life. 

And last, but certainly not least. Those parents of mine.

My mommy raised me well, I think I turned out alright ;)

She goes through so many struggles and pains in her life, but you would never know it because she'll never show it. She is one of the strongest women I know. I love being able to talk with my mommy so often and how loving and supportive she is to me.

Now for Daddy. I don't think words can describe the love and respect I have for that man. Talk about a man who knows how to spread and share his talents, who knows how to support a family, who knows how to love a women, who knows how to speak when words are needed, and just give you a look or a hug when words are not needed. He has taught me hard work, dedication, and patience. He has never expected anything less than the best from me and while that was hard growing up, I am thankful for that now as I am on my own and need to realize I am capable of great things. No man can compare to the greatness of my daddy, and my hope is to find a man someday who can have my daddy's stamp of approval; after all he won't let me settle for anything but the best!

And for this specific time in my life, I am thankful for my Biggest Winner team and my trainers. I have met some amazing people whose dedication and will power help me stay strong everyday!

My trainers Alyssa, and Jenny are so amazing! They are perfect for me! I love that they are not only my trainers, but that they are two of my good friends!

I can honestly go on for hours about the amazing blessings in my life, but I know none of us have the time for that!

I just wanted to let you taste a slice of my gratefulness!

Smile

God gives us each over 100 reasons everyday to smile.

So when you feel like being upset about one thing he hasn't given you, smile knowing that he is preparing something better for you.

And sometimes, a smile is all someone needs to turn their day around.

Been a while

It's been too long since my last post, so i figured I could write a quick something.

Life has been amazing. I am so blessed. 

I have the best roommates, and the greatest friends.

I couldn't ask for a better family, and I couldn't love them more.

I've been working out A LOT this semester, and I plan on keeping it up.

We started Zumba tonight, and I'm planning on making it an every night routine.

Besides a little stress with projects in school, I couldn't find one negative thing in my life.

It is such a humbling experience to have my three best friends all serving missions while I am also away at school.

Crazy to think that we are all four in different states...or countries for that matter.

Being away from the friends I love the most has really opened my eyes to see that ALL friends, not just those you hold closest to your heart, are precious gifts from Heavenly father. 

I am thankful that my friends decided a long time ago that they were going to be faithful servants in serving the Lord.

I love being able to write them letters, and even send them packages from time to time.

I am so excited for them, and I love hearing their stories!

I couldn't have been blessed with better examples in my life.

School is going well.

I am really loving my education classes.

It is very nice to finally be taking classes towards my major besides foundations.

My ward up here is amazing...uh-mazing!!!

Can you tell how happy and grateful I am for the good, and the not so good in my life?

And, if that isn't good enough L. Tom Perry is speaking to us next Tuesday at Devotional!! 

I can't wait!

Life...is good!

Improvements :)

I have made a few resolutions for next year, and I have decided to start them in December, because I just can't wait any longer.

My resolutions are:

1. Get FIT! I'm going to keep losing weight, and I am going to get where I have always wanted to be! I have already found so many different people that have done exactly what I am doing. It is so inspiring and it keeps the little voice in my head telling me, I can do it too!! I've finally figured out how to go about this in the right ways, and I have finally found my determination to keep on keeping on!! My mom has always told me that as I worry about what I need to worry about, things will fall into place. I firmly believe this, and so I am doing what I need to do!!

2. Write daily in my journal. Whether it's big or small, do it! My daddy said something to me at the beginning of this semester that has really stuck with me. I was telling him about going dancing with a friend, and how I was so nervous because I had never been "dancing" with a guy before! He laughed and then said, "You should write that in your journal so you can always remember it, it'll be fun." It really hit me. I don't write in a journal. I mean, I have a spiritual journal because I figured I should only keep track of the "important" things in life. But really, there are things I want to remember, things I want to look back at and laugh, and all this "growing up" stuff has really made me stop thinking of just myself. I realize that one day I am going to have a husband, and then before I know it I'm going to have kids!! I want my kids, especially my little girls, to be able to know what their mom was like when she was their age. I want them to know that Mom went through the same things they are going through. My favorite thing is to hear stories from my mom, my grandmas, my aunts about their childhood and their teenage years. So I know that my kids, if they are anything like me, will enjoy it as well and I just don't want to deny them that. So I am going to be faithful in my journal writing! Who knows, maybe I'll even have written about the moment I fell in love with my special someone, and they will enjoy reading it too. ;)

3. Be grateful. Be grateful for everything. I haven't shown my Heavenly Father enough how grateful I am for the copious amount of blessings that surround me each day!  I need to take time to realize the small things and be grateful for them. I mean, when I stop and take a look at the things surrounding me I am just so blown away at all the beauty I have been missing. I don't want to miss anymore! My plan is to find at least one thing everyday to be grateful for! Hopefully this will help me grow in many different ways. Because truly, I am so unspeakably grateful for all that I have and even all that I don't have, and I need to do a better job of showing this gratitude to Heavenly Father!

So here you have it my lovelies, these are the improvements I am making in my life and I really hope that you too are making the decision to make some improvements in your life! Why wait to make an improvement you have been wanting? Start today, and realize that you are worth the change! You deserve all the wonderful things that you have always dreamed of. You are the only thing stopping yourself!! 

Well, til next time my friends!!

Wind, Snow, and More Wind.

Alrighty! I realize I haven't written in quite sometime, so here I am.

Let's see what's going on in the world of Pauline..

I absolutely love it here at BYU-Idaho.

I can't say that I love the cold, but I love the people and the education I am getting.

I have such amazing teachers. I couldn't have asked for anything better.

I COULD do with out all the extreme winds, the coldness is bad enough!

I have lost quite a bit of weight since I left Texas. Thankfully.

I feel so much better now, and I don't feel gross, haha.

I start Winter Guard on Thursday, and I am so ready! 

I have missed it so much, and I can't wait to get to know the team.

I am filling out papers and applications to go to Mexico next fall for an International Language Program, and I am hoping and praying that I make it in!

I think it will be such a wonderful experience.

There are only 30 something days until I get to go home for Christmas. 

I have never been this excited for Christmas and all I am asking for is my family, and some good cooking :)

Being away from your family really shows you how much they mean to you.

I never knew how much I love my family, and how grateful I am for them.

I have never had such strength given to me then that which I get from my Family.

I love getting letters in the mail from my family telling me how much they love me and how proud they are of me. I don't know if they really know how much strength that gives me. It keeps me from breaking down on stressful days. It keeps me from crying when I just want to go home and know I can't.

And for all you other people who think I am going to get married in a heart beat, I hate to tell you differently.

Sure there are lots of cute guys up here, but I just don't feel like dating, or having a relationship right now. I have talked to my mom about it, and asked if I was in the wrong in trying to avoid dates, and she told me that I am okay. So I am going with mommy's words, and listening to my feelings.

Who knows maybe next semester I'll find someone in a class who changes my mind, but as for know, I am just fine being myself, and focusing on school.

Well, I don't know really what else to say...So I'm going to cut things short for tonight, but I will definitely try to write more often.

I hope all is going well with you, whoever you may be, and I hope you take the time to thank the Lord for all the great blessings you have in your life.

<3 Pauline.

c:

Favorite 

<3

That boy.

So that one boy that has kinda been a huge part of my life, especially for the last year, yeah, Tristan...

Well today is day one of something that he has been longing to do his whole life!

 He is going on his MISSION!!!!

I am so so so excited for him! I am so glad that he made the decision long ago to forget about himself and do the Lord's work for our brothers and sisters.

I find it pretty awesome that he got called to serve in California where the weather is amazing, because he hates being hot...and I mean HATES IT. 

So last night I was able to talk to him one last time before he enters the MTC today, and it was great.

We talked about good times, we talked about things he had to do on his mission, and we made sure we knew his favorites so we can send him care packages!

But most importantly, Brittany and I told him that despite how much we are going to miss him, we don't want to see him before the two years are up!

I hope and pray that he will be able to do all things that the Lord has need of.

More than anything however, I hope he opens his mouth and shares all that he knows.

I'm sure that his fear of speaking will be chased away by the spirit.

Two years isn't too long.

Tristan, you're gonna do great!

Nostalgia

I miss colorguard.

I miss winterguard.

I wish so much that I could be in them still.

But I feel like I am in the right place...I really hope I am at least.

Thankfully workouts started today, zumba starts next week, and I am joining a dance class next semester.

Maybe then i will feel better.

After all, it is the dancing I miss the most.

I miss my girls alot, as well as Ms.Robbins, it doesn't get any better than Ms.Robbins that's for sure.

I look forward to seeing their performances, they look intense, and way awesome!

Who knows, maybe I'll see a winter guard performance live ;)